


there is nothing to fear in these arms

by queen_annabeth



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Feral Behavior, Fix-It of Sorts, Fuck TROS, Huddling For Warmth, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Language, Post-Canon, Resurrection, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:27:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22580239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queen_annabeth/pseuds/queen_annabeth
Summary: With his skin covered in dirt and blood, it wouldn’t be easy for just anyone to see the man beneath. But she knew those arms, usually thick and corded with muscle but wasted away by weeks of solitude, hunger, and kriff knows what else. She knew that hair, tangled and dirty though it was. And she knew those eyes, dark and raging, his teeth bared in a snarl as he slowly lowered himself into a crouch, ready to attack again. He wore no clothing but Rey didn’t see anything but his face. Dirt-streaked yet unmistakable. The bond once broken by death came to life once more. She felt it all. Hunger. Anger. Fear. None of it belonged to her.orRey is guided back to Exegol by weeks of vivid dreams and finds something she never expects in the midst of the ruins.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first attempt at an in-verse Reylo fic so please take it easy on me. I'm probably going to pretty much ignore TROS in other fics but this one is going to at least go off of some events that take place in it.
> 
> Things to know:
> 
> 1\. Rey never takes the name Skywalker.  
> 2\. Rey never steps foot on Tatooine.  
> 3\. Rey builds a double-edged saberstaff for herself because I said so.  
> 4\. This will not be all that kind to the Jedi or Luke so if that's a fic turn-off for you, you should probably press that handy X in the corner of your screen right now.  
> 5\. The title of the fic is from Come Rest Your Head by The Sweeplings.
> 
> I hope that you all enjoy it!
> 
> I hope that you enjoy it!

It was the last place that she ever wanted to see again. So, of course, it’s exactly where the dreams guided her. The nightly visions had plagued her for weeks now, making even the longest stretch of sleep she managed to get restless and unfulfilling. She always found herself lost and stumbling amidst the ruins of Exegol, sharp rocks cutting into her bare feet and a frozen wind chilling her unclothed skin. Her stomach ached with anger and it became harder and harder to swallow with the dryness in her throat and mouth. Ghosts whispered all around her, hissing terrible truths of days long past.

In the dreams, she saw little of her surroundings. Now, crumbled structures and ruined ships surrounded her as she landed carefully in the same spot she had once before, in a borrowed starship that Poe gave her once she decided to shrug off the burden of legacy that she felt when she piloted Luke’s old ship. She felt as if her breath had been snatched away as she looked out and saw what remained of the tie fighter that brought another life here, all those months ago. Not just anyone. The soul connected so deeply with hers. The man that had an iron grip on the other half of her heart, taking it with him in death and leaving her feeling empty and lost.

Ben.

Rey did her best to keep him tucked away in the back of her mind over the last few months, hopping from system to system, exploring a galaxy she once thought she’d never see. It never worked. Whenever she felt truly alone, he always crept out of the mental cage she created for him, reminding her off the ache she felt at his loss. The inescapable feeling that she would never truly feel whole again. As her feet hit the ground of this hated place, Rey felt the cage fracture all while something prodded at the shields surrounding her thoughts. She closed her eyes for a few moments, reaching out with no success.

Whatever it was, it was a living presence. And it was here. For a brief, chilling moment, Rey wondered if Palpatine wasn’t gone after all. If she’d failed to destroy him like all those who came before her. She took a step forward, unclipping the saberstaff from her belt with a trembling hand. Rage bloomed in her chest, flooding outward as her skin grew hot and her vision narrowed. If the once Emperor was alive, he must be weak. Last time, his dark presence surrounded her like ink, coating her in its horrible influence and whispering in her mind, trying to seduce her. To make her fall. This time, there was nothing but shadows.

She didn’t flinch as the whispers reached her ears. Remnants of the Sith Eternal, still trying to drag her into their ranks. Rey simply marched on, through the narrow passage that led her further into the place where she lost her future. The beautiful visions of what may come faded with Ben Solo. She hadn’t felt angry then. She did now. That presence pushed at her mind again. Trying to break through. Trying to find her. Trying to overtake her.

Rey pushed back, baring her teeth as she came to a stop at the edge of the dark, wide hole that led to Palpatine’s ruined base below. She’d had to climb her way out before, relying on everything she learned on Jakku to pull herself up to safety. The platform that once dropped below was crushed and scattered at the bottom. Rey briefly considered how she might climb down again, if only to end whatever drew her here so that she could have peace, when she heard the clatter of stone somewhere around her. She whirled about, her finger hovering over the switch that would ignite her saber. Another shift of rocks came with a different sound. Breathing. Distant yet identifiable.

“Where are you?” Rey called out, moving away from the cavern with slow, sure steps.

The sounds echoed all around her, making it hard to pinpoint where they came from. Her heart raced her chest as she readied herself to fight. Then she heard it. Bare feet slapping against stone, rapidly drawing closer. A growl vibrating through the air as she turned just in time to be thrown off her feet by a large form. The breath was knocked from her chest as her head struck the ground. A pained grunt slipped from her lips as white light flashed across her vision, her saber clattering across the ground when it fell from her hand.

Rey twisted on the ground, pain flaring in several places. She couldn’t remain still. Whatever attacked her was no Sith. A monster? Hidden away to pluck off whatever unfortunate soul dared to venture here? That heavy breathing reached her ears again, much closer. Whatever it was, it was circling her like a predator. She heard quieter growls as she turned over and slowly pushed to her knees. The noises were odd. Not at all animal-like but not entirely human either. She strained her ears to track the creature so that it would not take her by surprise again.

As it circled again and again, she inhaled deeply and let her eyes fall closed, centering herself so that the pain wouldn’t distract her. A slow trickle slipped down her neck, too thick to be sweat. She’d deal with her injuries later. Thrusting out her hand, she called the saberstaff to her palm and ignited both ends before leaping to her feet and turning around to cut down whatever hunted her. Light filled the space around her, drawing an enraged noise from the creature as it stumbled away, a bare arm thrown over its eyes. Rey didn’t move, rooted to the place as her eyes grew wide.

It was no creature. With skin covered in dust, dirt, and blood, it wouldn’t be easy for anyone else to see the man beneath. But she knew those arms, usually thick and corded with muscle but wasted away by weeks of hunger and kriff knows what before. She knew that hair, tangled and dirty though it was. And she knew those eyes, dark and raging as he glared at her from behind his arm, his teeth bared in a snarl as he blinked in the unfamiliar light before slowly lowering himself into a crouch, ready to attack again. He wore no clothing but Rey didn’t see anything but his face. Dirt-streaked yet unmistakable. The cage that held him shattered in her mind. The bond she’d cut herself away from came to life once more. Hunger, anger, fear. None of them belonging to her.

“Ben.”

He stilled for a brief moment, something flaring in his eyes as if her whisper reached into his feral mind and touched wherever his humanity lived. Then he took a step forward, letting out another warning growl. Rey reached out towards him with her mind, realizing that he’d been trying to do the same even if he didn’t know it. There was nothing of the man she knew at the forefront of his mind. Not even the shields she knew he kept wrapped tightly around his thoughts. Only wild emotions, flitting from one to the next as he advanced on her. Rey lowered the saberstaff without letting it fade, unwilling to let go of the light as long as it allowed her to see him. Not entirely like himself but breathing and alive.

He began running towards her but she held out her hand calmly, somehow knowing exactly what to do. As his eyes rolled back in his head and he crumpled to the ground, she cushioned his fall and let him drift down to his back. Finally letting the light fade from her weapon, Rey clipped it to her belt and let what little light drifted from above guide her as she fell to her knees and reached out with a trembling hand to touch him. His heart thumped steadily beneath her palm, telling her that it was true. He was alive. Bending her head over him, Rey released her hold on the tears in her eyes, letting them wash away the filth where they fell on his pale, warm skin.

*****

Rey had very few possessions to her name. Some might say that it was true to her scavenger nature that most of those things belonged to someone else at one point or another. The helmet that belonged to Dosmit Ræh, retrieved from Jakku shortly after the battle against the Final Order when she dared to return to the AT-AT that had been her home for so long. The Jedi texts, providing a foundation on which she could build her own beliefs and practices. Two lightsabers, destined for a resting place that she hadn’t settled upon quite yet. A pair of gold dice, pressed into her hand by a Wookiee determined to see her again. The blaster that Han gave her on Takodana.

And a pile of dark clothing, the tears in the fabric mended by her own hand, along with scuffed boots. Things that she could never bring herself to get rid of. Rey was grateful to have them now, lifting them carefully from the compartment where they were stored as if they were the most precious thing she ever held. Then she turned back, eyeing their original owner warily as he laid upon the small cot inside her starship. He slept on, his chest rising and falling slowly. Getting him into the ship hadn’t been an easy feat, especially considering that he didn’t have a stitch of clothing on.

Rey felt her cheeks burn once more as she approached him, thankful that she managed to cover his lower half with a blanket while keeping her eyes firmly fixed on his face in case he woke from his induced slumber. She couldn’t get away with that this time. Setting aside the pants and shirt, she took a deep breath before uncovering him. It didn’t take much effort to levitate him a few inches from the bed, allowing her to maneuver his feet and legs into the black briefs. Rey firmly shut her eyes, determined not to harm his dignity even if he was asleep and out of his mind when awake.

Once they were fitted over his hips, she lowered him gently to the mattress and chanced a look at his waist to ensure that everything was in order. Her face grew even hotter as she saw the considerable bulge beneath the briefs before she forced her eyes up to his face once more, comforting herself with the fact that he was still asleep. Only then did she step away, knowing that she could at least try to help his unkempt appearance. Stepping into the small fresher, Rey pulled a washcloth out and reached towards the sink only to pause, taking a moment to breathe and come to terms with what was happening.

He was alive. Real and solid and undeniably there. It wasn’t a dream or a farfetched wish. Rey braced her hands on the sink and took in a shuddering breath before reaching out to wet the cloth. Stepping out again, she half expected to see that he’d disappeared. But he was still there. Rey approached slowly, wondering how long the Force-induced sleep would last. She only had one other experience with it, at the hands of the man lying before her, and it was impossible to gauge how long she was unconscious. He hadn’t exactly been open to questions on Starkiller Base. And everything that happened after…

She blinked away the rush of memories, carefully lowering herself onto the cot so that she didn’t jostle him more than necessary. He didn’t stir as she began wiping the dirt and blood from his face. The repetitive motions were enough to occupy her troubled mind. Rey made several trips back to the fresh to rinse out the cloth and start anew on his arms, chest, and stomach. She marveled at his lack of scars, somehow healed by her hand, and felt her chest ache at the sight of various bruises and abrasions she found during her meticulous cleansing of his skin.

When he was finally as clean as she could manage, Rey carefully eased him into the rest of his clothes and tucked the blanket around his tall form as best she could before stepping away and letting her eyes trace over him once more. Then she turned towards the cockpit with sure steps, all too ready to get them both far away from this haunted place. Yet she hesitated as she sat before the controls, searching her mind helplessly. There was no telling who might recognize the former Supreme Leader of the First Order.

Though there wasn’t a price on his head, bounty hunters would be all too glad to see what they could get for him. Not to mention the remnants of the First Order that had yet to be rooted out, all of whom may want to see him dead. She doubted that Poe and the newly reestablished Republic would be willing to offer any protection to a man they’d happily accuse of war crimes in the absence of any other high officer of the First Order, no matter what she said in his defense.

_ You know where to go. _

Rey let her eyes fall closed, a shiver running through her at the voice that filled her mind. A voice she hadn’t heard since the breathless moments before she stood against Palpatine’s final attack. The rush of waves and smell of salt filled her senses. Luke was guiding her to the one place that they’d be safe. The one place where no one in the galaxy would know to find them. There was a time that she’d do anything to keep Ben from ever seeing Ahch-To. Now she couldn’t imagine going anywhere else with him. A burden she hadn’t been fully aware of slipped from her shoulders as the ship rose into the air, rapidly leaving Exegol in the far distance. She could only hope that there would never be another reason to return.


	2. Chapter 2

It was easy to let herself be carried into a focused state once she landed the ship on Ahch-To. Rey didn’t have time to think, just act. Though she knew little about the Force-induced sleep that Ben was under, she did know that time was not on her side. He would awaken eventually and Rey didn’t want a repeat of what happened on Exegol. Her body ached enough as it was. So she quickly snapped into action, darting from the ship after checking that he was still awake.

Digging through Luke’s huts offered no solution until she came across a pile of dusty chains. Why he had them, Rey did not know. But she knew it was the only answer that she would find. Minutes later, she was wrapping those chains around Ben’s padded wrists, not wanting them to cut into his skin, and looping them around the cot where he lay, the darkness of the enclosed hut wrapping around them both. Once she completed her task, Rey stepped back to see if it was to her satisfaction only for her mind to finally awaken.

Her stomach gave a violent twist and her eyes pricked with tears at the sight of him restrained in such a savage way. Rey staggered back, feeling her way out of the hut before collapsing on her knees once she was in the open air. Coughing and choking out the meager rations in her stomach, Rey winced as she heard the disapproving noise of a caretaker nearby. They’d never quite approve of her presence on Ahch-To but she knew that they’d endure it anyway.

Turning over to sit on the ground, Rey found herself twisting into a meditative pose. Though the voices had been frustratingly silent ever since she faced Palpatine, she hoped that hearing Luke’s voice telling her where to go meant that they may be willing to speak to her once more. Closing her eyes, she took in deep breaths and exhaled them slowly, reaching out with her mind to feel the same balance that she found on Ahch-To with Luke. The waves. The trees. The grass and dirt and what wasted away beneath it all.

And the cave. 

It called out to her even now, whispering in that seductive way that it had the answers. It could tell her everything. It could give her what she wanted. All she had to do was jump. Rey brushed aside the voice, focusing on her task. She felt a small thread at the corner of her mind. A connection to the Force. Something within her ached to pull on that thread. She knew that it would give her what she wanted. Someone to show her what to do. The answer. How to help Ben. Rey reached for it, her heart racing in anticipation. She was close. Everything she needed was within reach.

Then the clank of chains followed by an enraged growl broke her concentration and Rey felt as if she was thrown out of her own mind. Her heart thundered as an icy chill wrapped around her spine and her eyes wrenched open only to find a familiar frowning man sitting a few feet away from her. Rey choked on the lump that rose in her throat as Ben’s struggles grew louder and more desperate. She could see him in her mind’s eye, yanking against the chains with gritted teeth and a wild fear in his eyes.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Rey’s shoulders dropped as the words left her lips, the burden of her situation bearing down on her. Her hands curled into fists as the noises over her shoulder grew louder and more frantic.

“What makes you think that you have the power to help him?” Luke asked, tilting his head to the side with slightly narrowed eyes.

Rey’s tenuous hold on her emotions broke and she leapt to her feet as anger pulsed through her. As if he felt it, Ben began struggling with a renewed rage as his growls and grunts filled the air. Luke didn’t move as Rey scowled down at him, unconcerned with either of their anger.

“The Force brought me to him.  _ You _ told me where to take him.”

“Yes,” Luke agreed.

Rey waited for him to say something more and when he didn’t, she turned away as her fingers itched for her to take hold of her saberstaff and destroy something.

“You’ve slipped.”

Rey tilted her head over her shoulder as she paced, giving him a heated glare.

“Into what?” she demanded, seething at how he sat there so uncaring when they could both hear the sound of his nephew’s pain and fear.

“The same trap that took my father.”

Luke’s words were as effective as a brick wall, stilling her in place. Rey’s head whipped towards him, her eyes growing wide.

“I am not a Sith,” she said, pronouncing each word slowly.

Luke moved to his feet but didn’t come closer to her, a weary looked etched onto his face. It was better than the indifference, at least. Perhaps the sound of Ben’s struggle was getting to him after all.

“You lost the balance,” Luke said, telling her what a part of her already knew was true. “It’s been a slow descent but you were on the precipice, weren’t you? Of falling?”

“I was  _ not  _ going to become that,” Rey hissed, taking a step towards him.

Luke studied her with an inscrutable expression, as if taking stock of what he saw. Rey hated him, in that moment. The same hate she felt when she learned the truth of what happened between him and Ben, attacking him in the rain with scathing words and heavy judgment.

“No, you weren’t,” Luke agreed for a second time. “You were going to become me. Cut away from the Force. Living a half life of solitude and misery.”

Rey blinked with shock, torn from those twisting emotions that boiled in her chest. It wasn’t something she’d planned. Not yet. But the idea had taken root. Anything to chase away the emptiness. The cold. Anything to forget the frayed ends of the bond she hadn’t been able to fully explore before it faded right before her eyes.

“I wanted it to end,” Rey said, blinking through the tears that she didn’t know had fallen.

“Believe me when I say, that isn’t the answer.”

“So what, then?” she demanded, taking a step towards him. “The Force does this? Gives me a… a shadow? Someone that looks like him but isn’t him? What am I meant to do with that? How do I… what do I do?”

Luke gave her the same impatient look.

“I ask again, what makes you think that  _ you _ have the power to help him?”

“Then why?” Rey shouted, her voice echoing all around as Ben howled out his rage.

Luke glanced over her shoulder at the hut that hid him away.

“He feels you,” he said, nodding at the door. “He might have lost the will to fight by now if your anger didn’t fuel him.”

Rey dropped her head, pressing a hand over her eyes as she felt that anger claw at her chest, begging for her to find a release. To give in. To destroy something or someone.

“Balance,” Luke said quietly, his voice the same as it had been long ago as he coached her to reach out and feel the island.

She did the same now, reaching to the waves and matching her breaths to their rise and fall. It had a near instant effect. The turmoil within her calmed, making her head stop spinning as she became aware of her body once more. Before she knew it, Rey found herself reaching out to Ben. It was easy to slip into his mind. The chaos did not deter her. She imagined herself as a wave too, washing over him again and again.  _ Calm _ , she whispered to him. The sounds of his struggle slowly ceased, his body growing lax as she soothed his tormented mind. When she opened her eyes, Luke stood watching her with approval in his gaze.

“You need him,” Luke said, shrugging one shoulder as if stating a careless fact. “That’s why.”

Rey’s eyes grew wide at the implications of his words.

“The Force…” she trailed off, unable to quite wrap her mind around it.

“The Force will guide him to where he needs to be,” Luke said confidently. “Just do your best to keep him alive, hard as it may be, until that time comes.”

Before Rey could say anything more, he faded away as a breeze rustled the air around her.

*****

There was little sound other than light breathing as Rey slowly slipped into the hut, a plate of rations in her hands. She thought he might be asleep until the small traces of sunlight filtering through the door allowed her to see his eyes, wide open and focused on her. He didn’t snarl at her like before, simply tracking her with his eyes as she grew closer. Rey could tell when he caught the scent of food because he lurched against the chains with a desperately hungry look in his eyes.

“I know,” Rey said quietly, carefully setting the plate on the ground before lowering herself to her knees beside the cot. “It hurts, doesn’t it? The hunger. I’ve been where you are.”

He didn’t say anything, his eyes flitting from her to the ground and back as he struggled against the chains that held him back.

“I’m sorry about those. I didn’t want you to hurt anyone else or yourself.”

He let out a grunt, that wild desperation still driving him. Rey let out a quiet shushing noise, more out of concern than annoyance, as she held up a small piece of bread. He stared at it hungrily yet didn’t seem as if he knew quite what to do, his eyes moving to her as if he expected an answer. Rey didn’t know if he was beginning to trust her or if instinct simply told him to follow along for now. She opened her mouth, hoping that he would understand and do the same. To her relief, he carefully let his lips part and opened his mouth just enough for her to drop the bread on his tongue.

Then he was chewing quickly, barely taking enough time to do so before swallowing the bread. Rey watched as he considered it for a moment before giving her an expectant look, opening his mouth again. She managed a small smile, though her heart ached at how different he was. So unlike the man she barely got to know. Muttering a low string of curses aimed at the Force, Rey hoped that whatever it planned to do would happen soon. She couldn’t bear to watch him suffer the indignity of being unable to feed himself.

“Just a little more,” Rey said, pressing another piece into his mouth before picking up a small chunk of dried meat. “You’ll get sick if you eat too much.”

Ben paid her little mind as she spoke, swallowing the second bite just as quickly as the first. His face reflected traces of surprise when she gave him the meat, though she could tell that he enjoyed it as he quickly chewed it too. She couldn’t help the color that rose in her cheeks each time his lips brushed her fingers, remembering what it was like to have those same lips pressed against hers. It didn’t hurt as much to think of it, now that he was here. Rey hoped that when he came back to himself completely, that the enduring ache in her chest would disappear altogether.

“How about some water?” Rey asked, willing to chance it as she slipped the canteen strap from her shoulder.

He watched her warily as she shifted closer to him, cradling the back of his head to help him lift it up. He let out a questioning noise when she pressed the opening of the canteen to his lips only to relax instantly when the first drop hit his tongue. Rey could see that he wanted to drink greedily and didn’t like that she made him go slow. When she pulled the canteen away, he let out a low warning noise but didn’t fight as she offered another piece of meat. 

Minutes passed as he ate her slow offerings, his eyes never leaving her face. Rey wished that she knew what to say, even if none of it would truly reach him. She didn’t know how to speak to him like this and wondered what she might say if, or when, he came back to himself. Would she toss her arms around him and whisper how glad she was that he was back? Would she keep her distance and ask him what happened between his death and resurrection? Would she bear her fists at his chest and release her anger that he too left her behind, even if it was to save her life?

Rey got lost in her thoughts staring at his face until he pulled at the chains and let out a series of grunts. His eyes darting from her down to the plate and back, clearly wanting more food since she’d stopped giving any since her thoughts overwhelmed her. Rey looked down and realized that she already gave him more than she should have. She knew starvation well and if someone ate too much after eating nothing, they would certainly regret it. She gave him a remorseful look, shaking her head.

“I can’t give you anymore,” she said, gathering the plate and canteen.

He didn’t make a sound until she rose to her feet. Then, all at once, chaos descended over him once more. He began thrashing and shouting, his legs kicking out towards her as she stumbled away. If he could speak, Rey had no doubt that his words would be full of expletives. He was furious that she’d deny him more food when he’d already been denied for so long. She hated it, even though she knew that she had to keep him from eating more.

“I’m sorry,” Rey said, trying to reach out to soothe him again.

He yanked at the chains again and again and she could see that the padding was no longer where it should be. Blood welled on his wrists where the chains cut into his skin and that was enough for her to act on instinct. With a wave of her hand, he was slipping away into oblivion once more, leaving her behind in a startling silence as tears gathered in her eyes yet again. Setting aside the plate and canteen, Rey approached him warily and repositioned his body on the cot before seeing to his wrists.

Closing her eyes, she reached out with her hands pressed over the wounds, feeling a sense of satisfaction when she felt the abrasions heal through the Force. Once she was satisfied that the padding was back in place, Rey took a few steps away and whispered out another apology before turning to grab the plate. She wasn’t one to waste food and though she had a wealth of ration packs, Rey intended to finish what he hadn’t eaten for her own dinner.

But she stopped just before taking hold the plate, her eyes fixed on the palms of her hands. They were stained with blood. His blood. The color was a shocking contrast to her skin. Rey didn’t know how long she stared, her stomach no longer aching with hunger but rather twisting with nausea. Then she turned away, her body working on instinct as her mind was too twisted to really guide her. She walked slowly, her eyes never leaving her hands, until she reached a low point of the island where the sandy shore met the rushing water.

She’d only observed the beach the last time, never having time to approach it between trying to bother Luke into teaching her and seeing Ben every time she turned around. Now she dropped to her knees and held her hands out, shivering as the cool water touched her skin. Rey scrubbed the blood away there, distantly wondering if this water could wash away more than just stains. Could it take her grief? Her anger? Her fear? She stared out at the waves, wondering just how easy it would be to let them carry her away.

Then she remembered Ben, at his most vulnerable and in need of her. She was the only one who could care for him. The only one who could keep him alive until the Force decided to work in his favor for once. Inhaling deeply, Rey gave herself another moment to kneel in the sand and feel the weight of the coming days before pushing to her feet and starting back to Luke’s small village.

*****

Rey didn’t know what to do when the sun slipped beneath the horizon and night fell over Ahch-To. After several more small meals, each easier than the last, Ben had fallen asleep on his own. It was a relief, not having to push Force-induced unconsciousness on him again. But now she was in the middle of a stressful conundrum. She was keeping herself moving, pacing about the hut quietly so that she would stay awake even as her body demanded rest.

She didn’t trust herself to sleep. Rey feared that something would happen if she allowed her eyes to close. Yet she knew that not sleeping at all was simply unsustainable. The idea of calling for help was unthinkable. Who would understand this? Maybe Rose. She was kind and thoughtful enough to at least listen while Rey explained. But with Rose would come Finn, who would likely never understand and undoubtedly refuse to even try. And he would most certainly contact Poe, who would likely want Ben brought to justice.

Rey had no one to help her. She was on her own. Rubbing at her burning eyes, she refused to allow herself to stop moving for fear of slipping away without her conscious permission if she sat still. She didn’t expect to turn around and find her path interrupted by the presence of someone she hadn’t seen in quite some time. A patient yet commanding face, her posture that of a woman who might have once been a queen. She looked younger without wrinkles on her face. There was no grey threaded through her dark hair. Rey knew that she was seeing the Leia of the first war against the Empire.

“There was a time that I didn’t rest either,” Leia said, a soft smile forming on her face at Rey’s stunned look.

Her head turned, falling on Ben’s prone form. She drifted towards his bed as Rey looked on, both curious and uncertain. What would Leia think of this? She never voiced what hopes she had for her wayward son. Did she want him to return? Did she resent him for all his misdeeds? Would it break her heart, seeing him like this? Or was her heart broken long ago when Palpatine got his hooks in Ben and dragged him away from his family?

“When he was born, I was always so afraid that something would happen to him,” Leia said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed to gaze down at her son. “I would sit for hours next to his crib, fighting off sleep and listening to his little breaths. When he woke, I was always there to comfort him. He would cry and cry. I tried to convince myself that it was normal. But even then, there was a presence within him. His dreams were filled with things that no infant should ever see. He was haunted even then.”

Rey’s heart ached at the thought of such a tiny life experiencing the horrors that Palpatine inflicted on him. Tears welled in her already swollen and aching eyes, making them sting as she wiped them away.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered brokenly, unable to help but think that it was a relation of her own that tortured Ben for so long.

Leia looked up at her, shaking her head.

“Only one being is at fault for what was done to my son,” she said, making it quite clear that Rey wasn’t to blame. “He has the chance now to live again without anyone whispering in his mind. You can rest, Rey. His dreams are no longer filled with darkness.”

Rey sank slowly onto the ground, unable to stand for a single moment longer with Leia’s permission surrounding her like a warm blanket. She leaned back against the wall of the hut, used to sleeping in far worse places.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said, exhaustion laced in her voice.

Leia looked at her sadly, as if she understood the turmoil that tossed about like a storm within Rey’s mind.

“All that you need to do is care for yourself,” she said, casting a motherly smile her way. “The rest will be resolved soon enough.”

Rey felt her eyes slipping closed, her last image that of Leia brushing a stray lock of hair away from Ben’s eyes. It didn’t take long for sleep to overcome her. She never got to see the second figure that appeared next to the bed. Leia’s soft, trembling sigh didn’t reach her ears. The clink of chains releasing Ben’s wrists didn’t wake her. She slept on as the ghosts waited.

“I hope you know what you’re doing,” Leia said warily, her voice holding a measure of distrust.

“This is his only chance.”

Leia didn’t look confident, bowing her head over her son. The man standing beside the bed lifted his hand, nearly placing it on her shoulder in comfort. He hesitated at the last moment, knowing that this daughter of his wouldn’t find any comfort in his touch. As the boy, his grandson, began shifting restlessly on the bed, they knew that his time would come soon. By the time his eyes snapped open, they were gone. And when Rey herself awoke, disturbed from her sleep by an uneasy feeling, she found herself completely alone in the hut.

Ben was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear what you think!
> 
> twitter - @reylodreams


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